Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Post About Nothing

As you may have noticed, I am prone to making allusions to those things which I like.  If I had to pick my absolute favorite TV show, I would without a doubt choose Seinfeld.  (I used to hear all the time how much I looked like Jerry Seinfeld in my college days when I was super-thin and had big hair.  Now that I'm older and have added some weight, people now tell me I look like Ray Romano.  But that's a topic for a different time.)  Anyway, Seinfeld satirized itself by claiming that it was "a show about nothing."  And what was so stunningly brilliant by that claim was that it was basically true, yet somehow so many of those nothingisms we related to and have now transcended to become ingrained icons of our culture.  For example, there is a whole episode that is centered around someone noticing Jerry picking his nose in his car while he was stopped at a traffic light.  ("It wasn't a pick!  It was a scratch.  There was no nasal penetration!")  I wish there were more TV shows about nothing.

Well, this blog post is about nothing.  I thought I would sit down and write about everything that has been going through my mind of late.  And here it is ... nothing ... zilch ... nada ... the big ole goose egg.  I am sure it is as riveting to read such words as it was for me to type them.  Just this morning my friend Dale chided me for encouraging everyone to write only for me to then go into complete radio silence mode.  I figured I could just pull a Jack Nicholson and pound away on my keyboard like his character in The Shining but that wouldn't be very edifying (or original, for that matter).

So how's this for originality: a nothing confession and a nothing apology.  If you aren't familiar with these terms, allow me to enlighten you as I demonstrate them to the best of my (full of pride) abilities.

The Nothing Confession:
I confess to all the world that I have nothing.  Nothing to write about.  Nothing to say to people who ask me what the secret to life is.  Nothing is thing.

The Nothing Apology:
I am sorry for not having anything to give today.  Check back tomorrow.  Maybe I'll have something then.  For now, I'm sorry.  That's all I've got.

I guess that's something.

"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10


  1. You could always tackle presidential politics.
    Possible starting topics:
    Which Democrat would you like to see running?
    Which Republican would you like to see drop out?
    Why don't I care about these candidates?

  2. Apology accepted. I love that you wrote a post about nothing. I used to marvel at the fact that humans can look so different from each other. I thought it made God such a genius artist because with most artists all their creations basically have the same look, you know? But then, I'm also one of the people who's gotten a lot of "You look like so-and-so"s in my life. Isn't it strange how so many people make us think of someone else? It's weird. And now you have a comment about nothing on your post about nothing. And I still see more Seinfeld than Romano.

  3. "Having nothing, nothing can he lose."
    William Shakespeare

    Thought you might like to know this.

  4. Hugh, Serenity, Brad,

    Thanks for nothing...I mean, thanks for reading and your positive comments.

    Thank you for providing some perspective. I would much rather discuss nothing than presidential politics right now.

    Serenity, laughing at your comment about nothing.

    Brad, you and Billy still tight?